I saw the most uplifting post about being self-harm free for a year the other day. Then started to count back and realised if I hadn’t had this winter from hell, I would have been at the same milestone in March.
I was really happy then bitterly disappointed. It’s the most discouraging realisation, how far I’ve regressed. Then I felt more shit because I was low whilst this person was celebrating something amazing, something I was so happy for them over. I want to go back to only being happy for them.
But I just feel the baggage weighing me down. I can barely make fortnightly achievements. A year just feels impossible from now. But maybe aiming for the impossible will light a fire that went out. Hopefully.
Plus at least I now live five minutes from free Subway for Valentines. So. That might help too.